A private audit that takes less than 5 minutes and tells you exactly which pattern is driving the distance in your marriage.
- Conversations turn into criticism no matter how calm you try to be
- You feel like you are walking on eggshells at home
- You are trying harder, but things still feel distant
- Emotional conversations spiral and leave you feeling defeated
- You leave interactions wondering what you did wrong
The Disconnection Audit identifies the pattern most likely driving the distance in your relationship right now.
- Where the disconnection is actually happening
- Why your effort may not be creating closeness
- Which pattern is keeping you stuck
- What to pay attention to first
Most relationship problems are not caused by lack of effort. They happen because the automatic responses underneath the surface keep running no matter what you try. This audit helps you see the pattern clearly so you can stop guessing and start doing something different.
Take a breath. Answer based on your honest experience lately. Don't overthink it. Your results appear immediately after you finish.
You'll see which of the three patterns is showing up most strongly right now. Not a diagnosis. A clear picture of the dynamic driving the distance.
You'll get an explanation that helps the pattern make sense, not from a blame angle, but from the inside of what's actually running underneath it.
You'll leave with a clearer next step so you can stop trying harder in the same direction and start responding differently.
The audit names the pattern. The work that follows changes it. Here is what that looks like.
Conversations that used to derail you don't take you out the same way
You can stay present when the pressure is on instead of defaulting to the automatic exit
The distance stops feeling like something happening to you and starts feeling like something you can actually influence
Your wife notices a difference without you having to explain what you're working on
You stop waiting for the right moment and start creating it
The pattern is still there. You just aren't running it automatically anymore
- You feel criticized, misunderstood, or like nothing you do lands
- Conversations derail or escalate even when your intentions are good
- You shut down, over-explain, withdraw, or get reactive when emotions rise
- You want connection but don't want to lose your sense of self in the process
- A diagnosis or psychological assessment
- A personality test
- Couples therapy
- A script that changes someone else without you doing anything
Simple, private, and designed for clarity.
Respond based on your honest experience lately. There are no right or wrong answers. Less than 5 minutes.
Your dominant pattern appears immediately. You'll see which of the three patterns is driving the disconnection right now.
Use the results on your own, or apply for the Pattern Interrupt Intensive if you're ready to do something about it.
The audit tells you what pattern you're in. The Intensive is where you interrupt it.
A focused four-week, one-on-one coaching engagement built around your specific pattern. Not a general relationship program. Direct feedback, real-time work on the moments that keep going sideways, and a clear arc from start to finish.
Remote only. Scheduled around your life. Starts with a short application and an Intensive Consultation to confirm fit before anything else happens.
Is this a diagnosis?
No. The Disconnection Audit is an educational tool designed to provide insight into relationship patterns. It does not diagnose mental health conditions and does not replace therapy.
How long does it take?
Less than 5 minutes for most people.
Will I see my results right away?
Yes. Your results appear immediately after you complete the audit.
What happens after I get my results?
You'll see your dominant pattern and guidance on what to pay attention to first. You'll also receive an email sequence that goes deeper on your specific pattern. If you're ready to do something about it, the Pattern Interrupt Intensive is the next step.
What is the Pattern Interrupt Intensive?
A four-week, eight-session, one-on-one coaching engagement built around your specific pattern. It starts with a short application and an Intensive Consultation to confirm fit. Learn more at theintimacyupgrade.com/pattern-interrupt-intensive.
Do I need to take the audit before applying for the Intensive?
It helps. The audit gives both of us a clearer starting point before the Intensive Consultation. Most men who apply have taken it first, but it's not required.
Once you have your results, the next step is the Pattern Interrupt Intensive. Four weeks, one-on-one, built around your specific pattern. Starts with a short application.
No pressure. Just clarity about what's happening and what would help.
The Disconnection Audit is an educational tool designed to provide insight into relationship patterns. It is not a psychological or diagnostic assessment and does not replace therapy or professional counseling.
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